Stepping out of my Comfort Zone

I am an introvert.  Most people think this means shy.  It doesn't, it actually means I have an interior life rather than an exterior one.  I can spend hours and days alone.  I don't get charged up with lots of people around me.  It doesn't mean I don't like people, I do,  I love people...but if I am around people too much it wears me out.  I like my friends,  I like spending time with my friends, but I don't need to spend time with my friends to fill my days.  That doesn't mean I don't need my friends, I do, a lot.  An introvert can become too introverted and weird, and the mind does odd things.  But because , unlike extroverts, people can wear me out, I don't usually seek out my friends.  It's kind of like being between the proverbial rock and a hard place.  You need your friends to keep you sane, but if you are around your friends too much, you go insane from too much stimulation....Do you get what  I am saying?

A lot of creatives are introverts, we need to spend lots of time in our heads to be creative. But introverts are still a minority and not well understood.  Especially in this country, where we value extroverted qualities, and we encourage people to drop their introverted ones.  However that doesn't really work, so introverts can go through much of life thinking they are just not right.  They don't fit.  I didn't get this about myself for much of my life.  But then I started learning about myself and it opened up a whole new world for me.  I began to get myself.  Why I do some of the things I do.  And why other people oftentimes don't get me or even want to.

I found out that there has been research done on this when people started trying to learn about how people learn.  I found out that the introverted person processes information differently than extroverted persons do.  It can be mapped with brain imaging.  I think that is fascinating.

 I oftentimes have to act to be able to relate to people.  I am not good at small conversations...and I am not good at talking to people who don't talk.  If someone is silent, then I will be silent.  I do like to talk to people who like to talk, because I can respond fairly easily.  So to meet people  I have to pretend to be an extrovert, I have to work at it, and I always feel slightly fake, not because I am trying to be, but because it is not natural for me to put myself out there.  I like sidelines, observation, and listening.  I like to watch what people are doing, I like small groups....but the funny thing is, I really don't mind speaking in front of crowds.  But then I can have something prepared, something that I know and understand.  I like teaching, imparting knowledge, that sort of thing.

So I am saying all that to say this.  I am stepping out of my comfort zone by having an open studio event at my place of creativity, my home.  I need to do this.  I need to admit to the world that I am an artist, which is something that I really haven't admitted to myself.  I haven't done nearly enough, my ideas for art are enormous in my head... I consider my output miniscule compared to what I have ideas for.  But if I wait until I actually do enough I will never move forward in this endeavor.